Surrogacy and adoption are two options available to couples or individuals who want to become parents but are unable to do so naturally. Both processes involve having someone else carry and give birth to a child, but there are significant differences between the two. In this blog post, we will explore surrogacy and adoption from a parent’s perspective, discussing the pros and cons of each option.
Surrogacy is a process where a woman agrees to carry and give birth to a child for someone else. There are two types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is also the biological mother of the child, as her own egg is used for fertilization. In gestational surrogacy, the embryo is created using the intended parents’ sperm and egg, or a donor’s sperm or egg, and then transferred to the surrogate’s uterus. Surrogacy is a costly process, with average fees ranging from $80,000 to $120,000. It involves legal contracts and medical procedures, and there is no guarantee of success.
On the other hand, adoption is the process of legally becoming the parent of a child who is not biologically related to you. There are different types of adoption, including domestic adoption, international adoption, and foster care adoption. Adoption can be a lengthy and expensive process, with average fees ranging from $25,000 to $50,000. There is also a rigorous screening and evaluation process for prospective adoptive parents.
Now, let’s look at surrogacy and adoption from a parent’s perspective, weighing the pros and cons of each option.
1. Biological Connection
For many parents, having a biological connection with their child is essential. Surrogacy allows the intended parents to have a genetic link to their child. They can choose to use their own sperm and egg or a donor’s sperm or egg. This can be a significant advantage for couples struggling with infertility or for same-sex couples. However, with adoption, there is no biological connection between the child and the adoptive parents.

Surrogacy vs Adoption: A Parent's Perspective
2. Cost
Surrogacy is a significantly more expensive option compared to adoption. The high cost of surrogacy can be a barrier for many couples who want to become parents. On the other hand, adoption can be more affordable, especially if the parents opt for foster care adoption or adopt a child from the foster care system. However, there are still costs involved, such as legal fees and home study fees.
3. Legal Rights
One of the most significant concerns for parents considering surrogacy is the legal rights of the child. In many states, the surrogate has the legal right to keep the child if she changes her mind after giving birth. This can be a devastating situation for the intended parents who have invested a considerable amount of time, money, and emotion into the surrogacy process. In contrast, adoption is a legally binding process, and once the adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents have all the legal rights and responsibilities of biological parents.
4. Emotional Connection
Surrogacy can be emotionally challenging for the intended parents, as they have to rely on someone else to carry their child. There is also the possibility of a failed surrogacy, where the pregnancy does not result in a live birth. This can be a traumatic experience for the intended parents who have already formed an emotional bond with the child. With adoption, the child is already born, and the adoptive parents can start forming an emotional connection with the child from the very beginning.
5. Waiting Time
The waiting time for surrogacy can range from 12 to 24 months, depending on various factors such as finding the right surrogate and undergoing medical procedures. In contrast, the waiting time for adoption can be longer, especially for international adoption. However, with foster care adoption, the waiting time can be significantly shorter as there are many children in need of loving homes.
In summary, surrogacy and adoption are two options available for couples or individuals who want to become parents. Surrogacy offers the opportunity for a biological connection with the child, but it is a costly and complex process with no guarantee of success. Adoption, on the other hand, may not have a biological connection, but it can be a more affordable and legally binding option for becoming a parent. Ultimately, the decision between surrogacy and adoption will depend on the individual circumstances and preferences of the intended parents.
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